I’ve been going back and forth about posting this for some time now. I’ve written it, deleted it, wrote it again, left it in draft format, and there it sat, collecting dust, and serving as a constant reminder of its presence every time I signed into blogger. There is no eloquent way to write this. I had a miscarriage. It was painful both physically and emotionally, and something, I am slowly learning, will be with me for the rest of my life. Moments will pass, milestones that you had mentally written down, that will go by unnoticed by anyone else but me and Eric.

Miscarriages are a funny thing. There are no badges of honor, no walkathons or t-shirts to encourage awareness. Most conversations about miscarriages always end with “Don’t worry, I know other people who have had one too and went on to have lots of healthy babies.” Of course everyone means well, but what I’m hearing instead is that my extraordinary sadness is in fact ordinary, insignificant, unremarkable. Why, at this moment, would I want to hear about someone else’s miscarriage when I’m lying on my bathroom floor trying to lift a million pounds of failure, embarrassment and disappointment off my chest?

It’s been a few weeks now, and still I catch myself crying out every now and again. Anger, sadness, loneliness. This holiday season has especially proven to be a hard one. We were going to surprise our parents Thanksgiving day by sharing the news. We were going to hold out and reveal the baby gender Christmas morning. Instead, there was no exciting news to share over Thanksgiving day, and there is no pretty envelope waiting under the Christmas tree.

I’ve been working hard to be kind to my body these past few weeks. Slowly getting myself back into the gym, eating healthier and taking lots of naps. Since miscarriages seem to be a big taboo I’ll give it to you straight. Let’s talk break outs for a second because that’s happening. Your body already feels broken as it is, let’s add a few pimples to the mix to really drive that stake through your self confidence. Hormones are also a b*tch! Never have I ever wanted so badly to have my period back. Food is a common enemy. For some reason all that ever sounds good is soup? And anxiety is off the charts! Let me tell you about my new pen pal, medical bills. Those things keep flying in like Harry Potter’s acceptance letters into Hogwarts.

We’ve kept this miscarriage a secret for a while now. Only my closest friends and our immediate family were given the news. Truthfully, that was what I needed at the time. But now that a little time has passed and the scars are beginning to heal I feel ready. I’m ready to break the silence, to get back into my regular routine and to just be honest. You have no idea how much weight is being lifted off my chest right now just being able to type this all out. Who knew blog posts could be so therapeutic!

The best way I can express my thoughts now, moving forward, come to you by an amazing New York Times article I read a few weeks back. “I can tell you that I want people to know. I don’t want it to be a secret or a shadow or something that is endured only alone. I want people to know that I have been through something, that I am tired but optimistic, that I’ve been knocked down but don’t help me up because I can get up myself. It’s fair, I think, to want witnesses for our suffering. But with the sorrow also comes hope. And after all, we are resilient creatures.”

I thank you all for taking the time to read this, for your understanding and for your empathy. Please, positive comments are much appreciated. And for any of you who may be going through similar circumstances, feel free to email me. If only for a listening ear, I am here. I love you all, be kind to yourselves.
xoxo

I found myself watching The Help this past week. No reason in particular, I just wanted to have something in the background while I was doing some meaningless work. I’d seen the movie before. It’s good, heart felt and eye opening. But this time was different. The movie took on a whole new meaning to me when it came to this scene:

“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” 
These past few weeks have been emotionally and physically draining on me. Some days are better than others. But when this scene came on I immediately stopped myself from what I was doing and let out a good cry. You know the one. The kind of cry when you dramatically sob into your hands and collapse into a small ball on the floor. Where you think the whole world is caving in on you, and you take little sips of air to bring you back to reality. It’s quite an embarrassing scene when you think about it afterwards. Not at all attractive, like how they look in movies. Luckily the only one there to witness it was my dog, Teddy. Bless his little heart. He didn’t judge. He just sat right there next to me and gave me little kisses right when I needed them, and sat on my lap the rest of the movie. Even now as I type this I’m working hard to hold back those same emotions that came flooding up inside of me that day. I know this is all starting to sound so cryptic. Sorry for that.

The point is, this quote really had my thinking. Thinking about how we treat ourselves. I know firsthand that I am my own worst enemy. When something goes wrong, when something doesn’t go exactly how I planned, I turn inward. It must have been something I did. If only I had done this. Maybe I should have done that. Or those days when I look in the mirror and don’t like what I see back. I wish I didn’t have so many freckles. Check out those raccoon eyes. How about those legs grow 5 more inches. I don’t think that should be shaking when I walk. If only I could look like her. Or for those moments when things just don’t line up and you feel like a failure not only for yourself but for those around you. Trust me, these negative thoughts run through my head on a daily basis. More now than ever, or at least since I was 16.

“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” I want this to be my new mantra. I want this to be constantly running through my thoughts whenever I turn inward. 

I took this picture of myself the other day. I took it right after coming back from a grueling weightlifting class at the gym. I wasn’t feeling particularly beautiful this day. In fact, it was another one of those crying days. But I wanted to take a picture of myself to reflect. I took the picture and immediately stopped and looked at it. Instead of seeing the greasy hair, my flabby arms and those freckles (oh so many freckles), I decided to be kind to myself. I really looked at this person as that, a person. A person who was created out of love between two people, who is loved by her family and friends. A person with a past, who has scars. Battle wounds on her heart that are trying to be put back together. “Be kind to her”, I told myself. And immediately I did. I saw those freckles as little memories. Memories of days spent on the beach given kisses by the sun. Memories of holding my moms hands and seeing the same freckles staring back at me. I saw those arms who had given so many hugs to loved ones who are no longer here with me. I saw those bags under the eyes as moments of showing vulnerability as opposed to weakness. From many sleepless nights and crying spells. Those little bags are worn proudly as badges of honor for those moments of hardship recently endured. 

If you are still reading all of this blubbering I applaud you. But mostly I just want to say that I love you. Be kind to yourselves this week, and know that you’re in my thoughts. There are so many of you that I just feel connected through, whether it be through your comments, emails or your own blogs. Know that you are kind. You are smart. You are important. 

xoxo.

NAME: Catherine Short

AGE: 27

LOCATION: Chicago (Moving to Nashville in September!)

CAREER: Barista, and also assisting my husband with his design and marketing company. 

BLOG DESCRIPTION: A Short Blonde is a journey of celebrating and learning to embrace the highs and lows of life. Living my life well and hopefully encouraging others to do the same are important to me. My blog is filled with things I love whether that be a great recipe, adventures in travel, a good book, or my latest fashion inspiration.

A TYPICAL DAY: My days revolve around coffee: making and drinking it. 😉 On work days, I wake up very early (between 4:00 & 6:00am), but that enables me to be home by lunch time. I utilize my afternoons for either blog work, running errands, exercising, or baking. In the evenings (when we’re home) Jordan and I enjoy watching a television show together. Currently we have been marathoning How I Met Your Mother. 

OUTSIDE OF WORK: I enjoy experimenting in the kitchen with new recipes, reading memoirs, practicing yoga, and traveling! Jordan and I try to plan at least one big trip a year, but our schedules are flexible enough for day trips throughout each month. I also spend far too much time on Pinterest, but don’t we all?!

SUMMER STAPLE: I’ve really fallen in love with hats: big floppy hats, baseball caps, fedoras, they all work! Hats are perfect for protecting my fair skin and camouflaging a so-so hair day.

Victoria, BC has stolen my heart, and quickly become one of my favorite cities – the local restaurants, the history, the water, the colorful money, the different languages, people complimenting you everywhere you go, I mean, how could it not be a favorite?

We decided to head out to Victoria in continuing on with our anniversary celebration. Neither Eric or I have been to this part of Canada before even though its just a short ferry ride away from Seattle. We set our alarms bright and early, making it to the docks at 6:30AM. We sat next to three of the sweetest Mexican women of all time. They LOVED talking to Eric and loved even more that he spoke fluent Spanish.

There’s so much I could say about the rest of our trip to Victoria, but I’ll let the pictures do the talking… along with a city guide.

^ The Fairmont Empress Hotel. Can I stay here forever? This was the first thing I saw as soon as we pulled in to Inner Harbor. The amount of pictures I took of this place is embarrassing, but oh so worth it!

^ The British Columbia Parliament Buildings. My jaw dropped at how absolutely stunning the building and grounds are. I felt like I was back in Europe all over again. So much history! The perfect spot to lay out on the grass and eat a packed lunch (which we totally did). 

^ Fan Tan Alley. I’m always a fan of hitting up Chinatown in any city we visit, but when I came across this gem in my research of Victoria I knew it was a must! Fan Tan Alley is the heart of Canada’s oldest Chinatown. With an alleyway of just 5 feet in width and shops and restaurants inside, Eric and I thought we were in Diagon Alley.

^ Christ Church Cathedral. I didn’t take many pictures inside, I wanted to soak in the artwork, the stained glass windows, the music, the organ(s). You should definitely look this place up online, so beautiful.

NAME: Emilie Woodhead

AGE: 21

LOCATION: Salt Lake City

CAREER: I am a full time wedding photographer! I am absolutely in love with my job and with capturing people’s love for each other! I get to meet so many new people and have so much fun while doing something I’m very passionate about. I also photograph my travels, adventures, and fine art portraits for my personal work! You can find my website at Emilie Ann Photography for more details!

… A TYPICAL DAY: A typical day for me involves waking up and either going to the gym or trying some new workout I saw on pinterest! Then the rest of the day would include editing photo shoots, answering emails, and either heading to photograph a wedding or an engagement or bridal shoot! In my free time I’m obsessed with the outdoors so I would probably either go on a hike or just take my camera out to the mountains to capture some photos. Other than that I would just chill with my family and sweetheart and watch a movie or just hangout around the house or around town *cough* or the mall *cough*. I have a slight obsession with clothes.

OUTSIDE OF WORK: Outside of work I attend Utah Valley University and am majoring in Art and Visual Communications! I’m graduating Spring 2015! Wahoo! I’m obsessed with branding and helping people follow their own business dreams. One day I hope to be able to hold workshops for photographers and become a motivational speaker. I’m an avid believer in Mexican food, beanies, and thrift shops and am always checking the local spots for cool furniture or treasures. I spend most of my time with my family and my love Tyler! I’m definitely a life-enthusiast and free spirited person who is always up for anything and for just living life to the fullest.

NEXT BIG PLANS: This Summer is a chalk-full of weddings that I’m so excited to photograph! And after finishing up school this year I’m hoping to travel to Europe to see the art I’ve been studying for the past 2 years!

SUMMER STAPLE: The Kimono!! Seriously, I have multiple kimonos and they are just so flowy and pretty! They’re so easy to just throw on top of a t-shirt or tank top to dress it up a bit and they are so comfy!! I can’t get enough of them!

Happy Monday!! I don’t know about you, but whenever the weather starts to get nice all I want to do is grab a good book and blanket and get outside and read in the sunlight. Us Seattleites need as much sun as we can get! Here are a list of books I have been reading lately! Any book suggestions? Leave your favorites in the comment section below! 🙂

THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER – I’ve heard about this book for years but got it as a Christmas gift this last year and finally dove right in. It took me less than 24 hours to read cover to cover. Such a well written book about those high school years. You find a companion in each character or remember them from your own high school. A definite read!
OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO – The classic high school graduation gift. It might seem childish, but this book can teach you so much about life and all that it has to offer. If you ever need a little bit of encouragement head to the children’s section of the library, sit down on that giant stuffed dog and give this a read.
THE FAULT IN OUR STARS – As mentioned on my YouTube channel, I’m a total groupie and read books right before the movie comes out. Can’t wait to sink my teeth into this book! Want to read it with me? Shoot me an email and we can be reading buddies 😉
TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD – A classic favorite since I was forced to read it in the ninth grade. I have told myself since then that I would name my daughter Scout one day!
TWILIGHT – I have no shame to list this as one of my favorite books. Whenever I’m in the mood for a good little romance and no fuss read, this is my book! Team Edward!
SPOTS – I started reading this book a few weeks back and have quickly come to adore it. The writing style from this new author and her autobiography growing up in South Africa during the apartheid is so raw. I love reading this tale through

Introducing Adri Cisneros from Adri Lately!
… a little introduction:
Hi there! My name is Adri (pronounced Ay-dree) and I’m a beach loving gal from LA. Fashion is in my blood and has lead me to create my blog Adri Lately and work as a personal stylist. When I’m not playing with clothes, you can find me exploring LA with a chai in hand.
How would you describe your blog?My blog is a place to stop by for easy practical fashion inspiration. It’s wearable fashion that’s effortless and provides some tips on style plus some insight into my life.
What does a typical day look like for you?Oh gosh! Every day is very different. But it usually involves a Starbucks run (gotta have my chai), yoga, lots of emailing, and an excessive amount of time on Instagram.
What do you do outside of work?Being that I’m on a computer so much, I try to step away from it during my time off by going on as many dates with my favorite guy. Whether it’s hiking or trying a new place to eat, it’s definitely the highlight of my week.
Staple piece for Spring?A great pair of sandals that you can wear well into Summer is my number one for Spring. I usually go for a neutral color, but this year I’m on the hunt for a leopard pair which is a fun neutral.

I’ve been getting a lot of emails, comments and traffic lately surrounding my Coachella ‘hairspiration’ post which can be found here. Per request I’m doing a more in depth tutorial on the low fishtail up-do. I love that you could rock this hairstyle at Coachella, prom, a wedding, or even for that dressy night out. So below you will find a helpful step by step tutorial to help you achieve this look.
If you recreate this look, make sure to tag me in your Instagrams so I can see! (@tanyajtaylor)What look would you like me to try next? Share in the comment section below!

STEP ONE: Brush through hair and create a center part using your fingers or a comb.STEP TWO: Take one side and loosely make a fishtail braid, securing with small elastic. Using fingers to pull apart bits and pieces to give it that messy look.STEP THREE: Repeat step two to the other side, creating your fishtail braid pigtails.STEP FOUR: Take one pigtail and lay horizontal to the opposite side, bringing to a slight upward angle towards top of ear. Secure with as many pins as necessary. Repeat on other side, bringing the opposite pigtail at a slight upward angle towards the top of the other ear. Secure with as many pins as necessary. Make sure to tuck the end pieces underneath braids, securing with pins, and there you have it! * To give it that bohemian touch and fun, pin in a flower!

Per request, this weeks ‘hairspiration’ is inspired by the upcoming Coachella festivities. If you are one of the lucky ones who get to experience this holy grail of music goodness here are a few looks you could rock while rocking out. I know what you are thinking, braids for days (literally), but what’s amazing is that you could rotate through these hairstyles for days without taking a shower. Double bonus!! Oh, and if you happen to be going, might I recommend the following shows: Bastille, Daughter, Ellie Goulding, MGMT, Zedd, Foster the People, James Vincent McMorrow, Lana Del Rey, and Lorde (just to name a few). What look would you like me to try next? Share in the comment section below!

Loose side fishtail braid.   Mini braids.

FISHTAIL low up-do.  

Fishtail Pigtails.Now onto the tutorials! ⇊

Fishtail braid.

TO CREATE: Gather all hair and bring to one side. Loosely fishtail braid and secure with small elastic. Pull a few pieces to give dimension. Add a flower crown to give that extra touch.

Mini Braids. 

TO CREATE: Brush through hair and part down the center. On one side, take a small section an inch behind ear and create a small braid. Secure with small elastic. Repeat on other side.

fishtail low up-do. 

TO CREATE: Part hair down the center and create loose fishtail braid pigtails, securing with small elastics. Take first braid, lay horizontal along nape bringing to opposite side and pin down with bobbi pin an inch behind ear. Repeat on other side and criss cross. Use as many bobbi pins as needed to help further secure your up-do. Tuck end pieces underneath braids near ear. 

Fishtail pigtails.

TO CREATE: Part hair down the center and create loose fishtail braids on each side, securing with small elastics. Pull a few pieces to give dimension. Add a fun headband for that hippie vibe.